jaysonaz

It really is ours this time

2008-09-30T04:31:37Z

It really is ours this time. We got the keys and the deed to prove it. Lisa and I closed and got our keys to our new home today. So now we have started to acomplish the American dream of... well everything. Education check, Good paying recession proof jobs check, big ass house check, now to fill it with toys which ones haven't decided yet. We went out and bought three full rooms of furniture the other day and some appliances as well. Thursday is moving day and were still not packed completley yet but we will be. After all the bullshit we've endured over the last couple of years its finally all coming together for us. I just wish my stepdad and uncle were still here to see it. I miss them and I know they'd be proud of what Lisa and I have accomplished. I hope to have everything unpacked and up and running within the week so maybe a housewarming paty in mid to late October might be in the works.

Update

2008-09-18T00:23:10Z

He died today at the hospice facility.

Another family goodbye

2008-09-17T04:33:03Z

So we flew back in to phoenix earlier this afternoon. My Uncle is still alive for now but more than likely he won't be by the end of the week. He looked like shit. Not that I was expecting anything but him looking like shit. He was going in and out of lucidity while talking to him. His liver has completely shut down and the PE's in his lungs have almost doubled in size per his Nurse. His kidneys are shutting down now and he subsequently is retaining fluid but they still keep pumping it into him? I asked about it but the Nurse said he was dry and his lungs were clear but as Lisa and I noticed he was starting to third space bi-lat in his legs. He is being transfered out of Johns Hopkins in the morning to a hospice somewhere in PA. He signed his DNR. Its the right thing in all reality there is no hope or chance of him recovering in any way shape or form.

My grandma is a wreck and my mom is taking this whole thing in stride. She lost her husband two months ago and now her brother. I don't know how she does it. Keeps her cool and level headedness throughout. They are still out there with hm but Lisa and I had to come back. I won't be going back for the funeral when it happens. I can't afford to take anymore time off work. Between me being off for almost 3 weeks when I got sick a couple of weeks ago to us buying the new house and all the expenses that moving is going to entail to spending the money in Baltimore we did I just can't afford it.

I said my goodbye yesterday. I told him how much of an inspiration he was on me and how much I loved and respected him ( see my Uncle was a doctor and he is whom I judge all other doctors against. He passed out half of the way through my goodbye. I promised him silently that I would always be there for my cousin like he was there for me while I was growing up. Now mind you my cousin is 19 and while acts like he's grown up he is still very much a young kid. Lost, scared and angry. His mom has kinda shut down and he is having to act the grown up. Thats alot of shit to pile on a 19 year old. He lives all the way in Philly so I don't know how much I can help but I will do everthing in my ability to help him if its ever needed.

On a brighter side we took one of the days to rent a car and drive up to Philly so Lisa could see her brothers which she hasn't seen in 8 years and I up to that point had never met.
Admist all of the shit with my Uncle this day I will always remember. We wound up with a bright blue chrysler sebring convertible. We drove up I95 through Maryland, Delaware, and finally Pennsylvania with the top down surrounded on both sides by trees not the like the ones we have here but real forest type trees, the sun was shining and it was a little humid no scratch that it was a lot humid ( um fuck humidity by the way give me the nice dry 110 billion degree heat any day of the week) I at one point turned and saw tears of joy on her face. I felt so honored to be able to do that for her to help her reconnect with her family. See Lisa is all alone as far as family goes out here. For the last 4.5 years she's been innundated with mine and so disconnected from hers due to proximity but it was really awesome to see her with hers. To help me learn more about where she comes from to help teach me more about her. ( I know sappy as shit but damnit I am gonna marry this woman).

So all in all thats been the last 4 days in my life.
Ok now th whomever is the great power out there god forest universe trees whatever, Please no more death or dying in my family for a while ok, please for shits sake I help heal sick people for a living Ya' think I can get a pass or something.

Update

2008-09-13T09:06:00Z

So my uncle took a really bad turn for the worse. He has 2 blood clots in his lungs cutting off his oxygen perfusion and his liver has pretty much stopped working the doctors have now given him a week. Lisa and I along with my Mom and Grandma will be flying out to Baltimore tomorrow morning. My uncle was out there at Johns Hopkins cancer institute to see if he was eligible for a new chemotherapy drug trial. After running some tests they saw that his biliruben level almost tripled from the week before. The cancer has spread at an extremely aggressive level and at this point... He is gonna die... Fuck! They admitted him to the Oncology unit. I am actually trained to help people deal with this shit but what happens when its hard to take your own advice. I can't seem to emotionally wrap my head and heart around this. I keep kicking into Nurse mode wanting to take care of everyone but not myself. It seems to be easier to deal with this when I can focus on taking care of my family and not having to look at the fact that I am losing another person in my family so soon after Charlie died.

This fucking sucks

House / Update

2008-09-08T21:10:08Z

So we had the inspection on the house done today and the thing is as close to perfect as you can get the only thing that needs to be done is to get the AC recharged with freon. Thats it. We're one more step down to getting it. My uncle isn't doing so well my mom and grandma went out to see him again and said in the span of 3 weeks he has gone down hill badly. So much death and dying this summer but alas some good has come out of it. I got my RN license and we are getting this house. But how do I feel good about it without feeling bad about the other stuff.

Houses part 2

2008-09-03T07:06:55Z

So we got the house. Here is a link if anyone wants to check out the pics.
http://tours.imagemaker360.com/Viewer/idx.asp?ID=89049idx&MediaID=626538&OffSetR=0

We will be moving in at the end of the month or like Oct 1-2.
(Reply to this)

Houses

2008-09-03T00:22:50Z

So we wound up putting bids on 2 houses today we should find out about one of them tonight and the other... Well the other is the house we got fucked on in July albeit it this time we put a bid for 40k less than we were gonna pay for it initially. How great would that be for us to get the house we were supposed to buy but a huge discount. Gotta admit it makes me feel good sticking it to the mortgage company that fucked us all over 5k they didn't want to pay to the other mortgage company stupid asses.

Day one

2008-08-30T18:00:10Z

So today is my quit day. I have been on Chantix for seven days now and today I won't smoke. I have been up for 5 hours now and no cigarettes. I chose to do this at this time due to the fact that I have been sick again (3rd time this year) with bronchitis for the last 3 weeks I can't go to work my doc won't release me even though I am not contagious anymore ( I have been on antibiotics for the entire time). I am losing wayyyy too much money getting sick all the time and well truth be told everyone in my family cept my mom has had cancer and I ain't going out like that fuck that noise. I have smoked for 17 of my 32 years. Here's to trying something new. Lets hope this works. So if I see any of my friends tonight and I'm a little mean/ crabby/ bitchy please forgive me in advance.

Update its 5pm and still no smoking. Maybe I can beat this thing?
Update 2 its 12.11am and I had 1 all day (Damn it)

Back on the rollercoaster again! Did I mention I hate rollercoasters

2008-08-14T01:05:31Z

So my uncle was officially diagnosed with stage 4 metastatic pancreatic cancer today. His doctors are giving him 6 months. My uncle is another one of those stand in for my dad guys who helped me to learn what being a man was really all about and one of the inspirations for me going to nursing school. He took me on my first Vegas adventure when I turned 21. He used to take me to the circus and chucky sheese when I was a kid and was always there for me. I feel so goddamned helpless and lost last month it was my stepdad now my uncle. I don't even know how to deal with this right now.

So today its fiished

2008-08-07T18:25:11Z

So after 5.5 years of bullshit, headaches and crap I am a NURSE! I took my boards yesterday and completely thought I failed. I woke up this morning and checked the state boards website and I passed and I have a license. Holy Shit! Now its my ass on the line every time I go to work. I'm so freaking excited.

So it really wasn't ours to begin with

2008-07-18T00:14:50Z

So it really wasn't ours to begin with! this is what I have to keep telling myself. After signing contracts and putting a $6000 down payment and buying a new washer and dryer and packing the whole apt and getting the time off work and scheduling all of the utillities and movers we found out today (what was supposed to be moving day) that we aren't getting our house. The kid who owned it took a 2nd mortgage out on it and didn't tell anyone. When the title company ran it they found another lien on the house. So the 1st & 2nd mortgage companies had to figure out a buy out amount the 2nd company (Ditech/GMAC) refused the amount and decided to let the house forclose now here is the kicker instead of accepting the offer where they would of gotten a few thousand dollars they opted instead to get nothing...0... zilch... What the fuck? So now were out of a house and the inspection fees. And we have to start all over with a smaller amount to be able to spend. Since I haven't gotten my license yet (was waiting till after we moved) our initial approval of $300k dropped to $220k. It may go back up once I get my license and subsequent raise that goes along with it but who knows. No wonder why there are so many foreclousers and the housing market is so fucked right now. We were qualified and ready and it got pulled right out from underneath us. Fuck Fuck Fuck!
All I wanted was my home. Not my apt not a place to stay but my home. And now for now I have to wait god knows how much longer to get it to no fault of our own.

What the fuck did we get ourselves into?

2008-07-04T05:07:37Z

So we bought this big ass house... So its gonna be freaking empty sort of (for now). For christ's sake its 5 freaking bedrooms! What the hell did I get myself into ( I sure as hell hope we made a good decision with this house)? But the possibilities are endless(however cash isn't). If anyone knows of someone selling a good but inexpensive washer and dryer let me know. The kid who were buying the house from wants to sell us his but they are too small and he wants too much for it. We had to buy the pool/spa heater and the fridge from him for $2000 cash. Now some of you may ask why? Simple... the fridge and heater were after escrow purchases made by him when he bought the house so it isn't transferable to us in the sale without having to pay out of pocket for it (See sounds simple huh? WTF? I didn't know that. See I'm learning all kinds of useless shit in this endevaor).
My plan for this place is to set up a home that everyone we know would want to come and chill at. As it is we live our life like our parents are away on vacation and who doesn't remember having fun while the parents were away.

Its Ours!

2008-06-27T05:03:54Z

http://public.superlativestudio.com/SlideShow.aspx?mlsnum=2982921&mlsTableID=ARMLSRES

We found out today that we got our house. I feel a pool party brewing mabye at the end of Aug or early Sept. The above link is to see pics of the house.

You will be missed Charlie

2008-06-19T07:28:19Z

So I wrote a couple of weeks ago about my stepfather going into the hospital. Well he went in again but this time he didn't make it home. My step dad or as I like to call him dad died tonight at Good Sam. He went in a couple of days ago for an ablation to fix his SA node. He came out of the procedure fine and everything seemed to be going well. His cardiologist cleared him to get out of the ICU tomorrow and on to a regular floor. A couple hours after that he told my mom that he was numb on his left side and then by the time my mom went and got his nurse he had stopped breathing this was a span of a minute or two. They coded him and couldn't get him back.
He wasn't the most emotional guy and trying to get close to him was damn near impossible. But over the last 13 years I managed to. He was more of a father to me than my own dad was. He was a big hokey conservative redneck who had absolutley no buisness being in my very liberal Jewish family but he fit in perfectly like he should of been there all along. I am going to miss you old man. You were there to listen and give advice and be what I think a father should of been for that I thank you. Rest well Charlie and give my grandpa some shit for me when you meet up with him whatever direction you went.

Bidding

2008-06-14T22:22:46Z

So lisa and I put a bid on a house today. Here is a link to the house. Take a look and tell me what ya'll think.

http://public.superlativestudio.com/SlideShow.aspx?mlsnum=2982921&mlsTableID=ARMLSRES

Roller Coaster um where can I get off

2008-05-26T07:38:18Z

So this has been one hell of a rollercoaster week. I finished my first week as a Nurse and what a trip it was. Everything gets defaulted back to me now no more let me get your nurse or hold on I'll have the nurse take care of that for you. I knew that was going to happen but I didn't fully realize the magnitude of it until I asked the wrong doc for some tylenol and he got a little snippy with me. So I did what I usually do I got snippy right back. He told me that he was cardiology and that was an internist's job so I told him and I quote" I'm sorry I thought you were a doctor assigned to this patient.. my mistake" and then I left the dictation room.
Ok that said next up on our journey L & I got approved for a $300k home loan so were really doing it now. I'm gonna get my castle.
Then I got sick and am on antibiotics yet again.
Then my stepdad had to have an emergent cardiac cath with stent placement done (his RCA was 98% blocked) and a pericardial window with midsternal chest tube placed to remove some fluid form the posterior part of his heart. They took off like 700cc worth of fluid day of the surgery (for my non medical friends thats a helluva lot) over time the pericardial sac that surrounds the heart can accumulate about 1000cc worth and be ok but to have that much pop up in a short amount of time can kill someone by potentially putting them in cardiogenic shock leading to hypoxia and possible tissue death or by cardiac tamponade(the pericardial sac accumulates so much fluid the heart cannot pump blood anymore).
Since I am sick I couldn't go to the hospital so L went instead. It is possible that she is the most wonderful woman in the whole world. Mind you were not married yet but she treated my family like they were her own ( soon enough they will be). She went into Protective Nurse mode and got questions answered for my Mom and Grandma and held their hands so to speak during the whole thing. See this again affirms the reasons I am going to marry this woman.
Next up one of L's friends she works with died in a car accident on the way to rocky point.

For fucks sake its only Sunday & this is a three day weekend.
Can this weekend end yet? Or at least no more drama

Graduation

2008-05-03T00:40:56Z

So a week from today (May 9th) I will officially graduate from nursing school. Its been 5 years since I started this adventure and what a long strange trip it has been. Now exactly how do I grow up?
Ahh I know make a list
1. Get a job (check, got hired on full time at the hospital i've been externing at already)
2. Pass Boards ( downloaded the app already )
3. Buy/build a house (Maricopa is most likely where we'll end up yes I know about the drive but if you love us you'll drive it. Its only 20min for gods sake! but the prices are outstanding 2700sqf 4bed 2.5 bath new build starting at $185k)
4. Start planning the wedding (I already asked and bought her the ring now I just gotta trick her into actually doing it) I know I could tell her i'm pregnant and shes the mammas I love you babe
5. Work, Work, Work, my ass off this shit is gonna be expensive

jaysonaz @ 2008-02-27T18:03:00

2008-02-28T01:03:38Z

You are The Emperor

Stability, power, protection, realization; a great person.

The Emperor is the great authority figure of the Tarot, so it represents
fathers, father-figures and employers. There is a lot of aggression and violence
too.

The Emperor naturally follows the Empress. Like an infant, he is filled with enthuiasm, energy, aggression. He is direct, guileless and all too often irresistible. Unfortunately, like a baby he can also be a tyrant. Impatient, demanding, controlling. In the best of circumstances, he signifies the leader that everyone wants to follow, sitting on a throne that indicates the solid foundation of an Empire he created, loves and rules with intelligence and enthusiasm. But that throne can also be a trap, a responsibility that has the Emperor feeling restless, bored and discontent.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

this fits me

2007-09-23T02:08:20Z

jayson - a pound of loyalty - a dash of trustworthiness - 1 1/2 cups of intelligence Combine in a blender until smooth.
'What is your personality recipe?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Engagement or how I convinced my GF to marry me

2007-08-21T14:03:14Z

As some of you already know I asked Lisa to marry me on sunday morning. She said YES! Baby this is going to be the wildest trip either one of us has ever undertaken. I am so happy and proud to have you in my life. We've had a really scary ride this last year and a half or so but we've come out the other side stronger better faster. I have never felt about anyone the way I do you and because of that I truly believe we can make it through anything together. You have every one of the qualities that I was looking for and a few that I didn't even realize I was looking for as well. Who'd of thought that a little over three years ago when you told me that you didn't want to date me that a few years later you would agree to be my wife. Oh wait I did. I told you you gouldn't get rid of me that easily. I love you babe and I can't wait for this next phase of our unwritten adventure to begin. And by the way hun we're HOME together.

Happiest of days

2007-08-01T06:54:36Z

Happy B-day Brian. I hope this day brings you every thing you want.

My Xmas Stocking

2006-12-12T06:29:16Z

Xmas Stocking

leave a gift for jaysonaz

get your stocking

So this is how I scored wtf

2006-12-01T22:10:59Z

jaysonaz @ 2006-11-18T21:01:00

2006-11-19T04:01:53Z

Wow ok i took this and some of you are right scary dead on

jason took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test!

"Wants to make a favorable impression and be recogn..."

Click here to read the rest of the results.

Being one with nature

2006-10-16T06:36:53Z

So Lisa and I went Dobson park today. This was not an outing that I wanted to go on but I must admit she was right. We sat in a park over looking the lake and sitting under a tree staring into her green eyes I fell in love with her all over again. I can't believe its only been 2.5 years since she came into my life. It seems like she should of been there the whole time. This relationship hasn't been the easiest but it has been the best I have ever been in. Her touch calms me, her voice soothes me, and her hugs fill me with a warmth that I never knew existed before. She challenges me on a daily basis and keeps me on my toes no matter how hard I fight her on it. I love ya' Lisa and I am so excited about this adventure you and I are in together.
As every day closes I look forward to another just to be with her.( little voice in my head says obsess much, I tell it naw just in love)